THE BACHELORETTE RECAP—EMILY GETS RID OF SOME BAGGAGE IN LONDON
This week on The Bachelorette, Emily plays friendly tour guide for the men in London, England and then goes “West Virginia hoodrat backwoods” on Kalon’s ass.
Things kicked off in merry ole England with Steve Sanders Sean, the insurance agent from Dallas getting the first one-on-one date with Emily. The date started with somebody hired by the London tourism bureau Emily taking him on a tour of London and telling him all about the different sights around the city. The date, like Sean, was nice but boring. Emily asked him how many kids he wants and unlike most twenty-something-year-old dudes, Sean didn’t even flinch before telling her that he’s not quite sure but maybe two. That won him some points, and Emily gave him a rose and a smooch.
For the group date, the men went to Stratford-upon-Avon to act out scenes from Shakespeare. Ryan and his hair wore a scarf for the occasion. He seemed positively giddy when he found out that he had the only kissing scene and that Arie had to dress up like a female nurse.
Kalon (Chopper) finally got some air-time by acting like an idiot. He took his acting scene way too seriously and scared Emily because of the bulging vein in his neck and blank eyes his intensity. He continued to rub her the wrong way by shooing her away when she came over to flirt with Ryan. At that point, it was obvious that Kalon’s journey to find fame love was about to end. In fact, he didn’t even make it to the rose ceremony.
Kalon’s grand exit and the drama that’s been missing all season began when Doug took Emily aside to tell her that Kalon referred to her daughter Ricki as “baggage.” You could practically see the steam coming out of Emily’s ears as she told Doug that she wanted to rip off Kalon’s limbs and hit him with them. The sweet, southern belle then said something about how she was going to go “West Virginia hood rat backwoods” on Kalon’s ass.
Her confrontation with Kalon was pretty great, with Emily using some of Kalon’s past comments against him. My favourite was when she told him that she would love to hear him talk but not until she’s done. Kalon probably never expected that one to come back and bite him. After saying her piece, she told him to get the “F*** out!” She decided not to give a rose to anyone on that date and went back to her hotel room to hang out with her baggage daughter.
The next day, she went on another one-on-one date with her little brother Jef with one “f.” In addition to getting lectured by an old schoolmarm about the proper way to pour tea, they went to a pub, where Jef got asked for ID told Emily that he was there when Kalon was smack-talking Ricki. He earned some points by saying something like if Ricki is baggage, then she’s a Chanel bag (well played). He got a rose at the end of the date and finally worked up the nerve to kiss Emily.
At the cocktail party, Emily was still obviously annoyed about the Kalon incident. She took each of the men aside to ask them why they didn’t have her back when all of that was happening. She seemed especially disappointed in Arie and made him sweat a little during the rose ceremony by waiting until the last rose to save him for another week.
In the end, Alejandro, the mushroom farmer from Colombia, got sent home. Ryan lives to see another day and it seems like he’s starting to grow on Emily. If nothing else, he’s funny and a lot more entertaining than the rest of the bachelors.
—By Kimberly MacDonald